2021.11.29 14:00 plantlover96 My glossier Black Friday haul! Anyone tried these products before? ✨✨✨✨
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2021.11.29 14:00 MarcusOsila Why cant i find sessions?
2021.11.29 14:00 ImpressiveDonut1240 Is this the ebb part of ebb and flow or is it over?
TLDR: My partner of 8 years and I finally moved in together and I feel entirely responsible financially, mentally, and emotionally for both of us. My boyfriend attends school and works 35 hours per week while I work 40 and do all household duties outside of laundry (all food shopping/prep/cooking, cleaning, finances, etc.). I feel like I need space, but I brought him out here (2 hours from home) because of my job. Where do I go now?
I apologize for the novel, I’ve never written here before but my sister suggested it and I thought it was a great idea!
I (25f) have been with my partner (30m) for 8+ years. We spent some time apart in my early twenties but have been very much together outside of that time.
I recently finished grad school and accepted a job several hours away (a week after I graduated). My contingency with taking the job was I knew I’d have to move before it started snowing (2 hour commute each way). I had lived with roommates my entire college career, and felt I was ready to move in with my partner. He agreed and was excited for the move/didn’t want me to move on my own.
It’s been roughly 3 months and I can’t tell if this is an adjustment period or a wake up call. My partner moved out of his parent’s home at 17 (where he was the sole provider in a marriage from 18-22, and prides himself on being totally independent) and then back in in his mid twenties. And lived there until he was 30 and moved in with me. His mother did all of the house cleaning, he mostly ate out or ate what she prepared, and didn’t really have to participate in anything else that made the house run.
While I was in graduate school, I told my partner this was the time for him to really decide what he wanted to do with his life (was on track to work in the automotive world at one of the big four). He opted to attempt to get into a union - which is an incredibly difficult and lengthy progress here. It took about the entire time I was in graduate school for him to get in. Just before his acceptance calls came, he decided he wanted out of that world and he was going to follow his dream of working in nature. So he went back to school (he has an associates) for environmental engineering. He started classes the same week we moved in at a local community college (online) and immediately hated them. Hated all math and chem. Long story short, he is now an education major.
My partner has ADHD and has explained to me that once he no longer has a “why” (e.g. no reason to continue engineering classes as he’s switched his major) he doesn’t care anymore and struggles to complete tasks. So where school was taking 10+ hours a day (per the courses, this should’ve been closer to 2-4) before he had a job (just recently got one about 2 weeks ago) he now works 4-5 hours a day on it after his 7 hr work shifts. He has begun to fail exams and is incredibly unhappy. I absolutely understand this. I worked 50+ hours a week while attending a strenuous masters program - I do not fault him for feeling burnt out or overwhelmed! And I don’t blame him and feel for him when it takes him longer to complete tasks.
Before he began working/switched his major, he was great with being on top of the laundry. A chore I absolutely hate. I work in the medical field and go through a lot of clothes. Ever since the switch, it’s been a process of either reminding him or just doing it myself. Everything else that’s needed for the apartment is left up to me: recycling, grocery planning/prepping/cooking, cleaning (daily and weekly), paying and tracking all bills, etc. You name it, I do it.
My singular condition before moving in together was that he paid his own bills and contribute what else he could financially to the household - even if it was something simple like $50/month. I knew I could cover the rent, it was my choice to live in a more expensive neighborhood, and it was my job that brought us here. He agreed and stated he had savings to cover himself. Since moving in, I have covered approximately 1k in bills per month for him, and he accepted a job that’s 35 hours/week and $4-6/hour less than other offers he had. So my savings has suffered, which is also stressful, but I made the choice to help him and I do not regret that.
We have talked at length about mental load. How I am constantly thinking about and having to plan our lives and that him asking “what can I do” isn’t helpful, or asking me to give him a list of things to do is just another task. He tends to latch on to one specific idea (e.g. fine I’ll do more grocery shopping!) than the idea of the mental load as a whole.
This has also deeply impacted our sex life. When he started going back to school, he was too stressed to engage in anything sexual. I absolutely understood and did not apply any pressure. Now with our dynamic shift and my plate being so full, I’m not looking forward to being intimate. However, I do not receive the same grace. I get grabbed and cajoled and begged and whined at. When I talk about the other areas of my life being depleted (self care, non sexual physical intimacy with him, quality time, etc) - it’s acknowledged, briefly attended to (a singular show, a few hugs during a single day, etc.) and then I’m expected to perform at the end of the night. We don’t really touch outside of sex, and per him he thinks I’m at an emotional attachment level he can never obtain. And that he wasn’t hugged/kissed as a child so it doesn’t come naturally to him - which I don’t discount.
I feel like I’m finally realizing that I am a whole and happy person on my own (which I love!) and not just so and so’s girlfriend. I don’t necessarily want to break up, but would love to just live on my own for a while and care for just myself. Something I’ve truly never done. But, my job brought him out here. He’s said he’d figure things out if I needed space that badly but he’d have to quit his job and move home or live in his car - his words. So now I’m feeling stuck.
Can people change? Does he need time to actually be on his own too? Is splitting household duties reasonable? We’ve talked about counseling (I’m a big proponent of therapy) but I know he doesn’t really believe in it and thinks we can solve our own problems. I love him and he’s my absolute best friend, a truly great person. But I’m wondering about his ability as a partner in a shared space.
This didn’t really flow but felt good to type out. I can’t tell if I’m overreacting or not. I’ve never been in this position so any commentary from someone who knows better is so appreciated!
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2021.11.29 14:00 FeydSeswatha982 The Taliban destroyed Afghanistan’s ancient Buddha statues. Now they’re welcoming tourists.
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2021.11.29 14:00 thoughtnova Kendrick Johnson: The Bizarre Case Of Teen's Gym Mat Death
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2021.11.29 14:00 Jurryaany QinetiQ, AM General partner to develop Humvee-based electric vehicle
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2021.11.29 14:00 HauntingShopping8425 Free readings, reviews appreciated, donations optional
I'm offering some more free readings today! I'll do several and then close this out, but after it's closed I can schedule people in for later in the week. If you want to leave me a review, I'll leave the link in this post. If you want to give me a donation, let me know, but I can't stress enough that those are fully optional.
Reviews here: Reviews post
I don't do health or legal advice. I also don't do questions like "what will my spouse look like". I prefer questions to be centered on you, the questioner. I will do relationship readings, but like I said it'll be more focused on you want what you can do.
Please comment here first, and I'll comment back to let you know when I'm ready for you. Again, if you don't see this post until it's closed, I'm willing to schedule you for later in the week, still free.
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2021.11.29 14:00 Pelthail [All] 10% off on these Zelda ornaments I make (for Cyber Monday)
2021.11.29 14:00 Independent-Theme367 buy PTPI
2021.11.29 14:00 kaghazdivari الگوریتم های مهم برای انتخاب کاغذ دیواری اتاق خواب عروس و داماد
2021.11.29 14:00 throw_away_6584 I [25M] have been with my SO [25F] since high school. We never thought actively about the long-term, but now the long-term is upon us and I'm feeling claustrophobic
I [25M] have been with my girlfriend [25F] since we were 15 in high school. We were absolutely head over heels for each other, and stayed that way through university, seeing each every other weekend or so (we were at different uni’s). We were really good about prioritizing communication, and kept up a super positive, healthy relationship for years. After graduation we moved in together, and two years later we still mostly* get along well. We know each other’s habits and expectations, and have fit them into a largely functional setup.
*Her anxiety can make her lash out or act out in frustrating ways, and it can be hard to separate a person from their condition, but this is not the main point of this post
We’ve been together for nearly 10 years, and some of our peers are starting to get married. Realizing that this is our trajectory is making me feel pretty claustrophobic. Sometimes I feel comfortable resigning to this set up, it’s overall pretty decent. Not perfect, but pretty decent. Then sometimes I think I’m only freakin’ 25, am I never going to experience falling in love again? I’ve basically only been with one person, I don’t even know what’s out there. I am definitely noticing girls quite a bit, and feel itchy.
I think living in the same room has made us feel less intensely about each other (married folks, is this inevitable?). I suggested living separately, so we don't get on each other's nerves, and don't take each other all too much for granted. This could be an option in the future, but currently it would be damn near impossible to find new apartments and roommates in this city. We plan to continue with this living arrangement until her program is finished in about a year, we'll see from there.
I also suggested the idea of opening up the relationship, basically trying out poly. I figured this could be a solution to not feeling claustrophobic without throwing everything away. On one hand I honestly think this model is workable and could be a good solution— I see no reason why relationships need to be a zero-sum game. As an analogy, I have several best-friends, and I don’t dislike one just because I like another. On the other hand, suggesting poly does look a whole lot like me trying to have my cake and eat it too, I get that.
Either way she was super not into the idea. This is somewhat of an ongoing conversation, but not really, which is a real bummer, ngl. Though it was a positive that we were able to be open about our views on this.
A few things that I think are important, but don’t know where to fit into the above structure:
-I feel super conflicted writing this paragraph, because it’d really upset her if she knew this, but I also need to be honest about it: I’ve heard people describe their SO as their best friend, and, well, mine is not. She is a good friend of course, and I feel more strongly towards her than anyone else, but she is not my best friend. Part of this is that our convo-styles and topic interests are just quite different. She has several time told me I am her best friend.
-We have very different rhythms for physical intimacy, I'm typically much more frequently in the mood. This was a bigger issue in the past, when we transitioned from seeing each other every couple of weeks to seeing each other constantly. We’ve tried a couple different strategies here, and never really found a solution. Sometimes, like now, it’s not a problem, and I don’t even think about it. Other times it can be a big thorn in the relationship.
Does anyone have thoughts on the above? Has anyone opened up a relationship or taken a break without it just being a euphemism for a slow breakup? Is it inevitable for a relationship to lose its edge once you move in together?
TLDR Been together with SO since high school, feeling like I'm missing out as we progress into adulthood
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2021.11.29 14:00 rohitcrypto92 Tune In to #UniLend_Finance Special “UniLend Omnis Ed” #TwitterSpaces Session on 30th Nov. at 8 PM IST🎙 $UFT Marketing & Operations Lead, Ayush Garg & Business Analyst, Anmol Gaur will discuss #UniLend Omnis, its features & much more Join: @UniLend_Finance Twitter Spaces
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2021.11.29 14:00 apetradersnft Ape Traders NFT Giveaway!
Hey Guys, Jamie from Ape Traders here. We are an NFT project that will help our holders find the best NFT's to mint for Max Alpha.
We are doing daily giveaways on our twitter as we head into our Dec 6th launch!
Look forward to seeing you all in the community!
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2021.11.29 14:00 AbiLovesTheology Religious Rituals/Meditation
Hey everyone. I just wanted to know how long you meditate/perform religious rituals for at home. Do you perform them every day? When I ask how long you perform them, I am asking about an average ordinary day, not a holy or special festival in your religion.
I am asking this question of laypeople, not monks, nuns, ascetics or clergy. Just interested. Thanks
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2021.11.29 14:00 HappyPunks Common HappyPunk #11 to claim on twitter NOW !!!
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2021.11.29 14:00 wtfbtc_ Current Bitcoin transaction fees: BCH Next Block: $0.0029 BCH Median: $0.0013 BTC Next Block: $0.71 BTC Median: $0.49
Current Bitcoin transaction fees:
2021.11.29 14:00 realpiktureit repost request for christmas help with my children
Hello all. I am a mother struggling financially and I am unable to purchase gifts for my children this year. Their father is in no way involved in their lives, physically or financially. My children are 12, 8 and 7. My oldest, Cayden, has high functioning autism and is very interested in music, specifically older rock bands at the moment. He wants to start a collection of band t shirts, that is the only thing he has asked for. He also enjoys train crossings, draw bridges, and antique fire alarms. My middle daughter is 8. Her name is Eden. She is not a girly girl by any means. She enjoys dinosaurs, reptiles and birds of all types. She is a bookworm, an artist, and loves to learn. My youngest daughter is 7. Her name is Aspen. She is all things girly; pink, glitter, dresses, princesses, unicorns and fairy wings. She LOVES socializing with her friends. She is a comedian and a singer. It would mean everything to me to have someone out there read about my children and want to put a smile on their faces for Christmas. I wish that I was in a position to be Santa. Thank you for taking the time to read all of this and considering my children to gift. I cant explain my gratitude just for having this opportunity.
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2021.11.29 14:00 DarkalenaV Onesto
|submitted by DarkalenaV to MicheleEiRettili [link] [comments]|
2021.11.29 14:00 iX_eRay [SPOILERS] Finished part 2, need to talk about it
Hi, as the title say, I finally played part 2 and that's the kind of game I need to talk about when it's over. Since I've no friend owning a PS, here I am.
I really enjoyed this game. Gameplay improved a bit, they added some cool mechanics and I still felt scared when fighting infected (especially Stalkers). I really liked switching perspective mid-game, it did a fantastic job of humanizing Abby and her friends.
Dina is a cool character, I really enjoyed day 1 because of her. I think it's a shame to only spend one day with her.
I loved Lev and Yara and I honestly think the three days as Abby are my favorite. Starting with the camp then going to the aquarium, then to the hospital on top of a crane and finally to the island. It was really refreshing and Abby's interactions with Yara and Lev were great.
However, Santa Barbara felt off, it was way to short compared to Seattle. You only play as Abby for one section and only a little longer for Ellie. I don't know, it's hard to explain but it was very unsatisfaying, not because of how the story ends but because I wanted more. After the theater part, the game could have ended, but when it kept going, I expected and wanted "more". Funny enough, reading people's opinions of the game, it seems that most loved this part.
Joel's death and the fact that he trusted strangers appears to be a really divisive point for the fanbase, but it didn't bother me. On the other hand, I knew he was going to be killed (got spoiled) so maybe knowing that kept me from questioning the events too much.
I was also surprised that they didn't "use" more the fact that Ellie got bitten. I actually thought she might transform this time but it didn't lead anywhere.
Overall, I really enjoyed Part 2, maybe not as much as the first game, but the fact that I need to talk about it a week later is a good indication that the game stuck with me. The story was great and other than Santa Barbara and the fact that Ellie doesn't spend enough time with secondary characters for me to get attached to them (Jesse!), I don't have much to complain about.
I'm curious to hear your thought on my experience. For instance, if you like Santa Barabara or if you preferred playing as Ellie, tell me why.
submitted by iX_eRay to thelastofus [link] [comments]
2021.11.29 14:00 userpresence Get $25 on DiamondApp.com (No deposit required)
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2021.11.29 14:00 3DMeltdown Inf Rockie - Silk PLA has been used there
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2021.11.29 14:00 Ok_Amphibian_1072 Do I have this right? Working remote for NYC company, living in PA
Hi all! Hoping this is the right place for this. I know a lot of people have similar questions/confusion on taxes due to remote work this past year. I work for a company that has its office in NYC, but I am a permanently remote employee living in PA. To my understanding, I should have my employer withhold NY state taxes and PA local taxes. Come tax time, I will file a NY nonresident return, and a schedule G-L for PA in order to claim credit for the taxes I paid to NY. Is this correct/is there anything else I need to be aware of?
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2021.11.29 14:00 VaushIsBad Love to have a 'socialist' anti-tankie community
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2021.11.29 14:00 onlydaniccus Elder Scrolls Morrowind Pre Release Images
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2021.11.29 14:00 qznc_bot2 A $5B hoard of metal the world wants but can’t have
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